> Feel free to set the record straight.
Nope, you pretty much nailed it...
--C
--- In
rara-avis-l@yahoogroups.com, "Jeff Vorzimmer"
<jvorzimmer@...> wrote:
>
> > > you don't look the part
> >
> > You'll get no argument from me. But when Time
magazine calls you
up
> > and says, "We would like to photograph you and
a gorgeous blonde
> > model in a hardboiled setting," what do you
say? (Answer: You
> > say, "I'll be right over.")
>
> Kind of reminds of a Woody Allen routine. Here's
my
fictionalization of what
> transpired:
>
> "Magazine photos?"
> "I'm sorry, I don't do photo shoots. I have my
artistic integrity
to think
> about."
> "Too bad, I'll have tell my editors here at Time
Magazine you're not
> interested in doing a photo shoot with a gorgeous
blonde."
> "Ah . . . Time Magazine . . . gorgeous blonde? Can
you hold please?
Let me
> put Mr. Ardai on the line.
>
> Later the next day at the Time photo shoot . .
.
>
> "Oh . . . we were expecting Mr. Ardai of Hard Case
Crime. Are with
his
> group? Will he be along shortly?"
> "I am Mr. Ardai--I mean Charles. Please call me
Charles. Not Chuck,
Charles.
> Please to meet you."
> "Oh, sorry. Didn't mean to offend you . . . umh . .
. I guess,
well, we were
> expecting someone more like a Mickey Spillane type
Glad to meet
you. Hey
> guys. Introduce yourself to Charles."
> "Glad to me you all. I've never been shot before. Ha
Ha."
> "Nothing to it, let's get started. As you would
probably
say, 'Here's the
> dame we want wrapped around you.' Let's loosen that
tie to start."
> "Listen, I think maybe you're confusing with me with
the characters
in the
> books I write and edit."
> "Okay, maybe you're right, but what we want is you
with the blonde
in your
> arms and a cigarette dangling from your lips ala
Spillane, you
know, like
> with that young blonde wife he had."
> "Ah . . . I don't smoke and that blonde looks bigger
than me."
> "Okay. Alright. Leave the cigarette burning in the
ashtray and,
honey, you
> go over and stand by the wall and look
sexy."
>
> Nothing like a little good-natured ribbing to bring
you back down
to earth.
> I guess we're probably all a little jealous. Feel
free to set the
record
> straight.
>
> Jeff
>
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