Let's compare the important plot element of being hit on the
head and knocked unconscious.
First: "I opened the door and walked in. There was a noise
behind me and the back of my head exploded in pain. A pool of
blackness opened in front of me and I fell in."
Third: "He opened the door and walked in. There was a noise
behind him and the back of his head exploded in pain. A pool
of blackness opened in front of him and he fell in."
Both work well, so we're OK on that.
Chandler and Hammett are interesting to compare for this.
Chandler's Marlowe was always commenting on events and
voicing his thoughts. The reader is right inside his head.
Hammett (excepting the Op, who's first person) kept you
outside. In THE GLASS KEY, there's no description of thoughts
or emotions at all. That's rare, but Hammett does it very
well, as Chandler does with his approach. It'd be interesting
to do a chapter of each the other way, but I'm glad they
picked the techniques they did.
Bill
-- William Denton : Toronto, Canada : http://www.miskatonic.org/ : Caveat lector.
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