RARA-AVIS: Vanishing Lance--Case Reopened

Bill Hagen (billha@ionet.net)
Tue, 29 Jul 1997 21:39:56 -0500 (CDT) In the recent messages--before the Great Crash-- there was that cry of
outrage by Peter Lance,that started like this:

> QUOTE
>"To Rara-Avis,
>
>I may be a first time mystery author and maybe the three martinis I had
>tonight after my book signing are talking, but you guys have a serious
>case of in-list dweebism going on. .... snipped...." UNQUOTE

But the facts of the case have yet to be stated fully.

Tuesday, the 15th, at 10:53 AM, RARA-AVIS Time (Toronto): One Peter Lance
signs on for the first time. He claims to have been referred to us by one
Kate Derie; he asks our help in compiling a list of "CRITICS" who review
"MYSTERIES"; he hints darkly that there exists such a list, hidden, "a
secret ...closely guarded," not available to plain folks like us...and
him; he asks our help, off-line, in compiling a list of reviewers that he
will then make available to us. Although he doesn't say so, his e-mail
signature advertises his identity as an author; presumably he wants to
leaflet or send complimentary copies of his novel to reviewers. He calls
us "Friends."

Tuesday, the 15h, less than 12 hours later, 11:21 PM: One Peter Lance,
author of _First Degree Burn_, flames the list, in disgust with the few
posts he's read during that day. He's been signing books, admits that 3
martinees may be talking, and, according to one of our regulars, looked
real soft boiled himself.

Now let's use investigative standards evolved in RARA-AVIS to analyze these
shreds of evidence. We pay attention to words like "vulgar" and
"etymology," right? Perhaps we should pay more attention to someone who
writes in capital letters? This list he's seeking, these CRITICS who are
hidden or in hiding from him, do they LOOM LIKE CAPITAL LETTERS? Is there
excessive anxiety here?

The other thing that should have tipped us off is his address to us: what
should the hard-boiled reader THINK when he/she/ne encounters a character
in a story who addresses everyone as "Friends"? Dunno
about you, but I think salesman, preacher or hit man. We should've tumbled
to him
earlier.

OK, apart from the 3 martinis--I'm getting thirsty myself--what else could
have provoked his reaction? What did he read? Well, that day we were in
the middle
of talking about the stories of the week, a darn good discussion it was
too. Mostly we were upbeat, laying out some points for further comment, in
very friendly fashion. BUT it must have been mystifying to Mr. Lance,
before or after his evening of drinking and signing, as to why we were
carrying on about these certain stories... [I AM going to get that drink.
Excuse ME, Friends.] ...we were making valid points, backing them up (as one
recent reader kindly noticed); at times, we were a trifle academic, using
big words or THEORY... Wait! It's as plain as the etymology on your face!
We were commenting just like CRITICS! What happened was a transfer of
anxiety/hostility. Maybe PL imagines we are the reviewers! We are the
people on the HIDDEN LIST!

In fact, I want to confess that I REVIEW! Not mysteries, but (worse)
criticism and novels like _Mason & Dixon_, by Thomas Pynchon who convinces
me while I'm reading him that nothing IS as it SEEMS. I'm ashamed I didn't
confess this when I came on board. I agree with Peter Lance: If I were
going down a dark alley, I wouldn't want me at my back either....

This is not just good Mexican beer talking here. I can still read the
writing on my bottle.

Besides, it may not be the 3 drinks that really influenced PL. Think about
it. What else had he been doing? He'd been signing his "Peter Lance" over
and over
and over. Words have power.

We need to thank "Peter Lance." I certainly do. In writing t/his story,
I have found a LIFE. It is rich, full-bodied, robust. It has gusto.
Right now, it tastes great!

Bill Hagen
<billha@ionet.net>

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