Author pics are a real pain in the ass - the worst thing
being that, in most cases it seems, the publisher wants a
posed portrait. Mileage may vary but beginning with the Sears
Family Portrait Studio and on through high school and up to
the present day, I have never looked natural, relaxed, sane
or less than functionally retarded in any posed photo. I
didn't use on on my first book and for the second I gave them
their choice of one a friend took on the porch of our house,
or nothing. (When an excerpt from the book ran on a news and
arts site someone wrote in that looking at it they"could feel
the hangover". Surprising, since I had quit a couple years
previous. Then again, at a certain stage, I don't think you
ever really look sober again. The best you can hope for is
appearing that it's been a while between drinks.)
My first career was as a musician and if you think getting a
posed pic one person is happy with, try it with four.
I think that's the reason - the pain in the assness of the
process - so many authors get one half-decent pic and use it
for 50 years. And yeah, the Block beret and turtleneck pic
was ill-advised ...
--John Armstrong
----- Original Message ---- From: Kevin Burton Smith <
kvnsmith@thrillingdetective.com> To:
rara-avis-l@yahoogroups.com Sent: Thursday, May 15, 2008
12:01:11 PM Subject: RARA-AVIS: But Seventeen with a
Bullet!
Mildly Peeved wrote:
> Kevin, I'm sorry, I can't resist commenting on your
note about schtick
> and fake personas, and I know it's been a few years
since we met, and
> while you're maybe not the best looking guy in the
world, you're
> certainly not the stonecold mean muthafucka you're
trying to look like
> in your photo on your blog...
I look mean to you? You need to get out more. I think I look
befuddled and lost and like I need glasses. Or at least to
learn how to take sharper pictures.
And Mario says
> I put Kevin in the Shell Scott MF category... about
17 places down
> from MF1, the top category reserved for Dudley
Smith, the Judge, and a
> few others. Metaphorically and literarily speaking,
of course.
Of course.
Gee, a coupla the other kids in the playground felt it
important to publicly state they didn't think I'm so
tough.
Boo-hoo-hoo. You boys are so mean. How will I ever learn to
live with myself?
Number seventeen, huh? But with a bullet, right?
Anyway, I'm so happy you have a pool table, Dave. Maybe your
wife will let Mario come over for a play date... :-)
* * * *
The truth is, though, honestly, I don't think I'm
particularly tough, either. Like most of us, I'm probably as
tough as I need to be, and I'd hope I'd be tough enough to
rise to the occasion, but other than that, I don't
particularly worry about it.
Someone makes a point of going the caveman route, blabbing
about
"street cred" and "keeping it real," I figure he's
overcompensating for something. The trouble with a pissing
contest is that eventually everyone gets their shoes
wet.
Sure, I might consider posing with a fedora for an author
pic, like Macdonald did, but my tongue would have to be
firmly in my cheek. And I'd probably pass on posing with a
gun or a bunch of dead animals or some other "manly"
prop.
Though maybe I'd go retro and pose with a pipe. That always
looks authorial. Me, looking real writerly and serious, with
a pipe in my mouth, one in my hand, and maybe one sticking
out of my ear. If one's good, three must be really
good.
I guess I can laugh at the silliness of author photos because
I'm already laughing at my own, on a book that isn't even
published.
In fact, it might be fun to investigate some of the sillier
author pics and bios out there. Although, as I said before,
what's in a novel's author bio (or photo) should never matter
more than what's on the actual pages.
Kevin
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