RARA-AVIS: Another translation example

From: Anders Engwall (KI/EAB) ( anders.engwall@ericsson.com)
Date: 19 Oct 2004


Karin mentioned the feeling that occasionally "something is missing" in translation. Well, sometimes that has literally been the case.

Consider the opening of Jim Thompson's THE GETAWAY:

Carter "Doc" McCoy had left a morning call for six o'clock, and he was reaching for the telephone the moment the night clerk rang. He had always awakened easily and pleasantly; a man with not a regret for the past, and completely confident and self-assured as he faced each new day. Twelve years of prison routine had merely molded his natural tendencies into habit.

"Why, I slept fine, Charlie," he said, in his amiably sincere voice. "Don't suppose I should ask you the same question, eh? Ha-ha! Got my breakfast on the way, have you? Fine, attaboy, You're a gentleman and a scholar, Charlie."

Now, look at the Swedish translation (RYMMARNA, 1977):

Carter "Doc" McCoy hade begä²´ v䣫ning till klockan sex, och han str䣫te sig efter telefonen i samma ö§¯®blick som den ringde. Han hade alltid lä´´ fö² ¡tt vakna och s姠varje dag an med tillfö²³©kt. Tolv å²³ f䮧elserutin hade bara gjort det till en vana.

"Jo, jag har sovit gott, Charlie," svarade han med sin godmodigt allvarliga rö³´® "Man det har fö²³´å³ inte du, va? Var hygglig och skicka upp min frukost. Vackert, du ä² en riktig gentleman, Charlie."

Notice that this appears to be shorter than the original. This is indeed the case. A retranslation back to English yields something like:

Carter "Doc" McCoy had left a morning call for six o'clock, and he was reaching for the telephone the moment it rang. He had always awakened easily and faced each new day self-assuredly. Twelve years of prison routine had merely turned it into habit.

"Why, I slept fine, Charlie," he said, in his amiably sincere voice.
"Don't suppose you have, eh? Got my breakfast on the way, have you? Fine, you're a real gentleman, Charlie."

And it goes on like this, cutting corners. I suppose the novel was shortened to make way for the pornographic appendix that appeared in this book line at the time.

Anders

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