Tyler, Tom (Ttyle@herrick.com)
Mon, 26 Jul 1999 15:18:56 -0400
Small Vices horned its way into my channel-surfing Saturday
afternoon for a few minutes. Here's what I saw:
Joe Mantegna, a Chicago Italian, playing Spenser who, despite
author Robert B. Parker's choice of an English poet's name
for his detective, is most likely a Boston Irishman. Mantegna
looks to be 5'5" and 140 pounds, is 52 years old, soft of
body and has one eyelid dropping. Mantegna talks tough to a
20-ish, buffed, 200-pound 6' athlete. Small Vices: The
athlete is cowed by Mantegna/Spenser. Better: The athlete
dumps Mantegna/Spenser head first into the trash, cracking
most of the detective's vertebrae.
I change the channel.
Next circuit, a few minutes later:
A bald man standing next to a black car about 20 feet from
Mantegna/Spenser pulls out an M-16 and aims. He fires a shot
and misses. Mantegna/Spenser looks over. Small Vices: The
bald man drops the M-16 and clambers/falls down a ravine into
a park. Better: the bald man empties the M-16 in Spenser's
general direction, killing Spenser and three or four
bystanders, OR, the bald man misses, jumps into his vehicle,
and smashes it into Spenser.
The bald man runs, kind of. Mantegna/Spenser chases the bald
man. He, too, runs, kind of. The film editor makes many cuts
during the running scene so that Mantegna/Spenser is not seen
running for more than a second or two at a time. The bald man
gets away when a small dog sinks its teeth into Spenser's
pants cuff (not that Spenser was gaining on the bald man
anyway). Spenser goes to his girlfriend's house where two of
his operatives are protecting her. The operatives looks like
Drew Carey's two friends on the Drew Carey Show. That night
Spenser and his girlfriend sit in the front window of her
house and talk. Small Vices: They speak unsayable lines to
each other. Much Better: The killer, outside the window,
shoots them each through the eye, sparing them further
embarassment.
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