RARA-AVIS: one shot deal

BaxDeal@aol.com
Thu, 18 Jun 1998 20:19:53 EDT someone forwarded this to me. thought I'd share it with y'all. true, it only
tangentially relates to the topics deemed acceptable on this list. just be
glad I didn't forward the whole magilla, as some of you are wont to do.

btw... where did the expression "the whole magilla" originate anyway? it
sounds like it could be a hard boiled title, doesn't it? there, I managed to
be relevant.

John Lau

A TRUE STORY

A thermodynamics professor had written a take home exam for his
students.

It had one question: "Is hell exothermic (gives off heat) or
endothermic?(absorbs heat) Support your answer with a proof."

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyles Law or
some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

---------------------------------------------------------------

First, we postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some mass.
If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass. So, at what rate
are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think
that we can safely assume that once a soul gets into hell, it will not
leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for souls entering hell, lets look at the different religions that
exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are
not a member of their religion, you will go to hell. Since there are
more than one of these religions and people do not belong to more than
one religion we can project that all people, and all souls, go to hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of
souls in hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change in volume in hell. Boyles Law states
that in order for the temperature and pressure in hell to stay the same,
the ratio of the mass of souls and volume needs to stay constant.

#1 So, if hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which
souls enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in hell will
increase until all hell breaks loose.

#2 Of course, if hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of
souls in hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until hell
freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Therese Banyan
during Freshman year, "that it will be a cold night in hell before I
sleep with you" and take into account the fact that I still have not
succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then #2 cannot be true,
and hell is exothermic.

The student got the only A.
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